Dear, Mom

Dear Mom,

Thank you for being such a crucial part of my world. For molding me into an independent individual. (And yet I rely on you for so many things). 

Thank you for making me believe there is good in this world. 

With every mistake I make, thank you for not giving up on me. Pointing out the flaws, even if it is irritating.

Thank you for growing me. Giving me your wonderful genes. And being such a bundle of joy.

You've set a high bar for me, and I don't want to bring it down, instead push it higher and stand on top of it. 
I've always hated you praising other children and not me. But, thank you for not putting me not pedestal, making me think I'm perfect. It would've only brought me down. 

You've always slept after I have, fed me before yourself, cleaning after my mess, bringing me my things even when they're two feet away. Cracking the most silliest of jokes when I'm down.

Ours may not be the ideal mother-daughter relationship, and I will always envy the people I know who have one, but we have something, and that's our something.

I may want to live alone, but please know I still want to be under your shadow.

I realize know how I've never expressed my feelings for you, and jokingly said I hate you (I don't mean it). But it's funny, I've always felt I don't need to, because you know. 

But you also may need to hear it. 

I love you. 

Thank you for putting up with me, how much ever crazy I am. 

Bonne fête des mères! (Happy Mother's Day)

Love, Nuts.

Dear Lilly Singh

Dear Lilly Singh aka IISuperwomanII,

I really don't know how to start but I wanted you to see this. And if you are indeed reading this, I want you to know you're a lovely human being and the most beautiful person I have ever seen. 

When I found you first, three years ago, I'd never have imagined to fall in love with you that very day. Only 2 or 3 videos down, I subscribed. 

Around that time, I was going through a lot. With my grades going up and down, mostly down, people giving up on me, my parents not understanding why I didn't show interest in anything, and the anxiety, I was just broken. 

I don't know how, but you helped me become a better person. You are that one person that everyone needs in their life. 

I have been joked and kicked about. 

There was a time where I would pray to not wake up the next day. But never have I felt this strong, you have made me strong. Stronger even so. From there, you've made me accept my flaws and work on them to make me want to live for a future. 

If I were a sad person before, I am half of that now. 

You are an inspiration. And there just one thing I really want to do, is to just meet you and tell you how I will be eternally grateful for all that you have done for people like me. 

I missed the YouTube fan fest in India both times. 

The tickets to your world tour were vanishing right after you announced them and by the time I got around to buy some for myself, they were all sold out. 

I cried my eyes out. There is no greater feeling than helplessness, and that's exactly how I felt. 

But I can only hope and pray, in the years to come, that I can finally meet you and hug you I like I have always imagined. 

I am a Unicorn, I try to remind myself everyday, and it works its charm. 

Even now, there are days of gloom, but your videos are enough to make me feel better. 

I genuinely appreciate all the efforts you put into all the things you do. And I hope to become at least half the person that you are. I mean every word I have written so far. 

Thank you very much, Lilly, from the bottom of my heart and soul.

And I wish you all the very best for the amazing things that you do. 

Thank you, again. 

Love, 

Nuts. :)

#DearMe

Dear 15 year old me,

Read. Listen. Study. And none of these is about school. 

Love. Learn. Live. You're 15, doesn't mean life isn't to be lived. 

Stay calm. Grades don't define you. And don't learn, understand. You'll know why I say this, later. 

The next two years or so will be difficult but they're not the end of the world. You're going to learn a lot, make friends, lose them too. But the ones who stay, very few, will love you no matter what. 

Stop procrastinating, I repeat, STOP procrastinating. 

Go for that run you keep thinking about. Get fitter. 

Your back will hurt even more, but don't chicken out of all the things you want to do. 

Lose that guy, not good for you. 

Make friends. You will not have many, there will moments when you feel you have none, but remember, you're not alone.
Don't be afraid of others' opinions, and don't be afraid tell them yours. But don't let too much out.
You are gullible, and people are going to take advantage, or use it against you. Careful.
What you're feeling now is normal, but also demands to be attended to. 
You will lose the people you love, so tell them that you do now.
College is not what you think it will be. If you expect so much, you won't be able to enjoy yourself. 
Don't hate on yourself, you're not perfect but you're good, just the way you are. You're not a lost soul, just confused. You always will be.
That ideal person you keep wanting to be is no body. It's you.
Don't doubt on everything that's ever happened, whatever happens, happens for the best.(Just saying, I don't agree with this all the time).
Agree to Disagree. 
Be yourself. Be confident. Be what you want to be, and not what you think you should be.
Laugh. Smile. Be Happy. These are necessities, don't forget.
Love will come (it still hasn't, but it will). Don't fret.
Accept life as it is, and enjoy it. Remind yourself of this every day, till you die.
LOVE yourself.

-Love, Me.

Singapore

Hi y'all!

I've been a lucky girl, when it comes to travelling. I live in India, and my family and I have seen most of it. 

Recently, we had the chance to visit the lovely Singapore. 

This isn't a Thursday for a throwback Thursday, but I loved that place and I'm going to go with the flow. 

  A walk from my hotel, it was always spectacular sight.

     The Merlion. Beauty.

     Marina Bay Sands. 

     The incredible view from the Marina Bay Sands

    Cable car. (I was scared!)

   Love.

    UNIVERSAL STUDIOS! 

Incredible show. I didn't record or click any photos through this show, I just wanted to     enjoy the show.

    Singapore Zoo's highlight! This bad boy decided to show off the for two whole minutes. 

     China market.

    Alex! (Dibs!)

     After this, I literally could not breathe. My whole life, I have loved everything Egyptian. And this made my day.

Bye! :/

I took tonnes of pictures, but I just wasn't sure how many I wanted to put up. There will be more, if I find some nice ones.

Until then, Goodbye! :)

Love, Nuts.

Hello!

Hi, I'm Natasha. 

You can call me Nuts, if you like. 

18 and clueless. 

Let me start by telling you why I decided to start a blog. I don't have any siblings, and I wouldn't say I don't have friends, but there are just a few things I don't like to share with them. 

But when you start holding things back, it's not very pleasant inside. I find this urge to blurt things out so often, that I don't think it's normal. 

It might seem that I ought to keep this blog anonymous, but since I happen to be one of the clumsiest people on this planet, this blog is not anonymous. 

And anyway, I don't think any one is ever going Google me in the near future. Or ever. 

There are quite a few things this entire blog will be contain, like an account of my anxious moments or how I feel about something. I might also post a few photos here and there. I won't call myself a photographer, but I'm not that bad, you know. 

I have been contemplating this blog for a few months, now. And I will admit, I did delete this blog at least 5 times. 

I really don't know what all this shows of me, but if any of it is interesting, you could follow me. There won't be a particular day of my publishing a post, it all happens in the spur of the moment, but I will try. 

This is my alter ego, and the only medium where I feel I can be real. I hope you will understand.

Thank you, to whoever has been reading up till now.

Love, Nuts. :)

P.S. If you're a relative, please keep calm. 

P.P.S if you're a friend, I think we need to talk..!